Success

(I have a point. Bear with me.)

Rain in the winter doesn’t fit, somehow. Washing it away—for what? Dry, yellow grass. Nothing to want in the slightest.


Why is it that what’s such a blessing in the summer is torture in the winter? In the summer we’re desperate for a drop of that life-giving liquid that’s so precious to break the endless heat. In the winter, we look upon it dully and wish that it were snow.

It’s the same with other things, I find. In the summer I’m desperate for something to happen because it’s so monotonous. However, in the winter when everything’s piling up, I’m desperate to get out. It’s never been as bad as this year. I don’t feel prepared for anything and if I could just let everything go I probably would.

How can something be such a blessing and such a curse? It’s supposed to be great to be involved and to be able to do so many things and have opportunities. Somehow, the reality doesn’t look anywhere near that good. Why do we do what we do?

They always give you answers. “College. Money. Support yourself.” But if you’re always working for something that never really comes…in college it’ll be “good grades, good job.” When you’re working it’ll be “Money, promotion.” When you get there, you don’t have time to enjoy it. Why do we force ourselves so hard? In another century will we start school at age 2 and have it all year long until we’re 24, then throw ourselves into a horribly competitive workplace? If that’s where this is going, what good will it do any of us?

But people will always say, “Well, if that’s what you need to do to succeed.” What is “succeeding” in this case? I think that succeeding should honestly be making a difference. It doesn’t matter how many degrees or money or anything you made if you didn’t make a difference for people and for the world. When you’re dead, will it say “S/he made a lot of money and spent it all on their house, got 10 degrees, and sat at home all day”, or will it say “S/he didn’t make a lot of money, but s/he was the greatest parent, community person, friend, and gave everything s/he had to help others”?

What is the point of forcing yourself to the brink in something that won’t matter in the course of the thing?

I think we really need to change this. In Lewis Carroll’s Sylvie and Bruno, there is a section where the mysterious figure Mein Herr tells all about another planet where competitive examinations ran wild. “Teach them everything that’ll be on the examination and don’t bother about letting them learn anything else. It won’t be useful. As long as they can answer all the questions right, they’ll be good and successful and so will you as a teacher.” Will that be our goal? Just to learn everything on the examination and ignore everything else because the examination is what matters?

Don’t let this happen. Make it your quest to succeed because you know and you understand and you can apply it to the rest of your world, however small or large it is. I think that’s the measure of success (even if I meandered on the way to getting there!)